Downtime Discussions

During the downtime that usually happens at this time of year in a call-centre, many topics of discussion have been put forward, including the player to polarise footy the most (Judd, Cousins, Barrassi, Fevola), the biggest girlyman in footy (Nick Riewoldt), the hardest player ever (Jonathan Brown, Karl Ditterich, Bruce Doull, Leigh Matthews), the greediest / money-grubbingest player ever (jury's still out).

But the subject then turned to the biggest gronk that ever lived.

What is a gronk, I hear you ask? Well, you'd be best looking at http://www.urbandictionary.com/ and to choose your own definition. But for me, the definition is in a name. A person's name can be cringeworthy and generate all sorts of ill-feeling. Those names, for me, belong in the Court of King Gronk, and members of that court include (in no particular order):

• David Beckham - English football star, married to Posh Spice / Victoria Adams-Beckham
• Silvio Berlusconi - playboy Italian prime-minister; key player in the ruination of Italy and Europe in general during the 00s/10s GFC / Euro-crisis
• Warwick Capper - 1980s AFL footballer and now well-known Gold Coast resident / wanker / reality television participant
• Brendan Fevola - 1990s Carlton spearhead and now out-of-favour with the AFL in general
• Pauline Hanson - one-time Member of Parliament and founder of racist political party One Nation; once-convicted but now overturned felon; failed Member of Parliament since the collapse of One Nation and the prison sentence
• Paris Hilton - heiress, famous for being famous, participant in sex-tape
• Kim Il Jung - late "beloved" leader of North Korea and basis of the Team America satire
• Mark "Jacko" Jackson" - 1980s AFL "footballer of great potential" who, starting in the WAFL, moved east to star for no less than four VFL clubs. Now more famous for his off-field exploits which included a "singing" career, and speaking engagements with one other contender
• Bob Kater - Federal Independent Member of Parliament in the Queensland seat of Leichhardt
• The Kardashian Family - enough said, really
• David Kosh - self-opinionated ambulance-chasing co-presenter of the "Sunrise" breakfast television programme on ATN7 in Sydney with an economics major in journalism who doesn't like you to know about it
• Lindsay Lohan - actress, indebted Playboy pin up
• Eddie Maguire - president of the Collingwood Australian Football club, "journalist," radio and television presenter, loud-mouthed hater of felafel and anything to do with any city in Australia except Melbourne 
• Imelda Marcos - one-time Phillipines first-lady, hoarder of shoes
• Mohamar Qadafi - one-time leader of Libya, alleged war-time victim
• Mark "Chopper" Reid - convicted criminal turned writer and talk-circuit speaker, source of comedy sketches and spoofs
• Charlie Sheen - actor, alcoholic, drug-addict, discgraced son of Martin.Shane Warne - once-great cricketer, half of The Shiz or Shurley (Liz Hurley love-interest)
• Karl Stepanovic - slightly less opinionated than another television presenting contender, this contender co-hosts the "Today" breakfast television programme on TCN9 in Sydney. His infamy is in the inappropriate, as well as a "Logie" award that he should not have been given
• Tiger Woods - so-called "world's greatest golfer" whose brain-pants took over and cost him a beautiful wife and family, as well as his golfing talent. A contentious entry here, although he is allegedly friendly with another contender

I am happy to add or subtract names from this list for legal or other reasons, by request through comment to this post below!


pgg
23Dec11
1555 (amended 25/12/11)